Single?: there are worse things.

Single?: there are worse things.

So I’ve been thinking recently about being single. Generally the consensus of single people around the holidays is to bemoan our lot in life and allow the singleness blues to shadow what should be a happy and fun time of year. Being the youngest in my family and 26 I have seen all of my siblings and many of my friends tie the knot in the past several years. Along with that I have witnessed the joy, pain, love, and frustration that comes along with getting married. After a recent conversation with a soon-to-be bride and hearing her future in-law woes it got me thinking… there are worse things than being single. Now (as obvious from my recent “Dear Future Husband” posts) I have absolutely nothing personal against marriage, on the contrary, I’m looking forward to it. I simply know for a fact that marriage isn’t all gravy, and singleness; well singleness has it’s perks.

This train of thought has run rampant for the past two days which brings us to this post. Herein please find just a few of the many wonders of single life…enjoy and be exhorted to joy: it could be worse…you could be married!

Single Perk #1: Nothing gets moved. One of the joys of being an adult who is single is you have beautiful control over your general area. Nothing gets moved, changed, broken, “fixed”, eaten, dirtied, or “cleaned” without you doing it. You can be as organized or disorganized as you wish. Your ice cream container contains exactly the same level of deliciousness as it did when you left it, and not a spoonful less. You find your bathroom as clean as you chose to leave it. Now, some may wish they had someone to clean up after them which they think will be accomplished by marriage, and as such see this “perk” as a bad thing. However, marrying so that you have a maid is horrible reasoning. First off, marriage brings another person with all their stuff into your already cluttered and messy life. Then you have kids and its all down hill from there. The amount of items an 8lb child who doesn’t move can have is simply sickening.  On top of that, say you do marry someone who cleans up after your sloppy self. It may last for a little while but they (most likely she) will get sick of you treating her like a slave and your divorce will certainly cost more in the long run than it would be to just hire a maid at the start.

Single Perk #2: Sleeping alone. Again, this may seem confusing as sleeping WITH someone is one of the goals of most unmarried people. But, yet again, this coin has two sided. Sleeping alone is splendid. You get to choose the room temperature, side of the bed, lighting and noise preference. When you sleep alone you don’t have to deal with the stealing of covers, cold feet, or unpleasant noises and odors. Enough said.

Single Perk #3: Sleep in general. My sister has been married for just about 4 and a half years and between being pregnant, nursing, and or having a baby around its safe to say she hasn’t gotten a full nights sleep in 4 of those years. I value my sleep. This is one of the biggest concerns I have about getting married. Once you have kids, sleep leaves the premises. You may say…well that only lasts while they are young. True, maybe. But if you have more than one child you will be in possession of a “young child” for more than a few years, then comes teenagers. I remember coming home at all hours of the night when I was a teen and if I didn’t pop my head in to say goodnight my dad would inevitable come up to my room a few hours later to make sure I was home. He just couldn’t sleep soundly until he knew we were all home and safe. That scenario assumes your teenage children are generally quiet. I was sometimes, however I quickly found out that the quieter I tried to be the louder I seemed, so eventually I gave up trying. I can recall MANY nights being up baking at 3:00am, taking a shower, studying, or having friends over…there is no way my parents slept well those nights. Now get this, I am one of 5 children…I’ve made my point, my parents haven’t slept in almost 40 years.

Single Perk #4: In the immortal words of William Wallace, “FREEDOOOOOOM!” As a single adult you can do pretty much anything you want with your free time. You don’t have to check in, work around dependent’s schedules, or be home for a child’s bedtime. You can go away for a weekend, week, month, or longer at the drop of a hat. While we may not have a ton of money left over after bills are paid, that money may be spent at our discretion with little to no input from others. You get to pick the music, hold the remote, and eat when and what you want. If you want to go out, you can. You want to take a bubble bath, sure thing! You want to watch sci-fi/adventure movies all Saturday, may the force be with you…You are free as a bird.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. When it comes right down to it, you’d have to be crazy to get married, which is exactly how I would describe every one of my newlywed friends and family. Basically, marriage is death to self. Each of the above “perks” are centered around self. My preferences, my wishes, my best interest. Marriage, and especially having children, is all about the other people you are now irrevocably attached to. Even if you get divorced and never had kids, just the fact that you were once married changes everything for the rest of your life, which is the whole point.

Can you imagine what a horrible world we would live in if all anyone ever thought about was themselves? Marriage and kids teach us that others are important too.

The moral of the story, when you meet someone who will respect you when you don’t deserve it, love you when you’re a hormonal mess (this goes for guys too!), and stick by you when no one else will; snatch that person up and make your marriage work. Sure, you may never be able to find anything again, deal with all sorts of unpleasant sleeping conditions, that is if you get to sleep at all, and they don’t call it a ball and chain for nothing…but all that seems ok when you’re crazy in love.




  1. You are one insightful young woman ! love ya much