When right feels wrong
Do you ever get that feeling, you know, the one where everything feels wrong, but you know that it is absolutely right? The one that says, “as much as you’d rather be elsewhere, you’re actually exactly where you need to be”? The part of you that longs for something different, but knows that this is the path that gets you there? No? Just me then? Cause that’s where I’m at.
To be perfectly fair, I’m pretty sure that any transition after the beach house would have been a bitter pill to swallow. I was exactly where I wanted to be. But this transition was harsh on top of bitter. Now that’s not to say that I’m not in a good place, in fact, I’m ridiculously blessed. I can’t get over the cool things I get to do and places I get to be. I’m looking ahead and know that amazing things are in the queue. But the sad truth is that even blessings can feel like burdens when they’re not what you wanted. And you can’t change what you wanted, you can only try to shift your perspective to view your blessings as better than you originally thought.
Sometimes disappointment is the best thing that could happen to you. Sometimes being told to wait, again, is exactly what you need. Sometimes the weight that you think is crushing you is really shaping you into what you will be, into a better version of yourself.
So don’t give up. Don’t stop heading in the right direction. Even when you’re not sure where you’re going. Even when it feels horribly wrong. Don’t stop. Don’t slow down. Keep going no matter what. Because as unfair as it seems, the destination you want is often beyond the reaches of what you thought was the limit of your strength. It’s far outside your comfort zone. Past how you’ve done things before, stretching to the reaches of your imagination, it’s there, and only there, that you’ll find the offer of something exceedingly abundantly beyond what you can ask or think.
So whatever the cost, pay no heed to how wrong it feels and stay the course. You’ll be glad you did.
Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.