My Wingman

My Wingman

If you had asked me a couple of years ago if I was going to get married, I would have told you that I didn’t know. Getting married has always been a part of what I wanted to do with my life, but at that point it just didn’t seem to be what God was doing, so I was open to the possibility that He had something else in mind. He brought me to the point where I knew that whatever God had for me would be best, so single or married I was in for an amazing ride.

And on that ground I’ve staked my claim.

Since then, while things haven’t necessarily changed, my perspective has shifted. After many years of praying about the possibility of getting married, asking God if now was the time or if marriage was even something that should be on my radar; after many crushes and dates and yes, a heart break or two; after all of my plans have crashed and burned; God has given me this amazing rest in HIS plan in general, but specifically in this area of a relationship.

Now, there are a lot of reasons for this shift, most of which I’m not going to go into, but one thing I’ve been pondering recently is something someone said about my husband four or five years ago. Now, you can call it encouragement, or wisdom, well wishes, a word of knowledge, prophecy or something else (I won’t argue semantics with you). And actually, it wasn’t even said directly to me, but rather came out of a conversation my brother-in-law, Jesse, was having with an older church leader who I highly respect.

Somehow I came up in their discussion and the leader asked if I was dating anyone… because, that’s pretty much the only question people ask regarding unmarried people they haven’t seen in a while (but I’m not bitter or anything.) Anyway, when Jesse responded that at the time I wasn’t seeing anyone, this is what the leader said,

“God has someone for Abi… He’s just waiting in the wings.”

At the time it didn’t really mean much to me, and I just tucked it away. In fact, it kind of struck me as odd. I remember laughing and saying something like, “Ha, so God’s got a ‘wingman’ out there somewhere for me!?” I thought it was a strange term to be used in a spiritual context because my understanding of the definition of a “wingman” was a friend who helped you get a date with someone. You know, sing your praises and make you seem more awesome than you are, maybe even run some interference… (Like in the movie, Sabrina where the guy says to his brother, “Talk me up, say nice things about me. You know, make me look good. I mean, I know I look good, but make me sound good.”) So I was like, “Ok, my ‘wingman’s’ out there somewhere… whatever that’s supposed to mean.” And I moved on.

Every now and then I wonder about my wingman. I pray for him often, not that he would show up necessarily (although I’d be ok with that too), but FOR him. That he would grow deep in his relationship with God. For him while he works. For safety and favor. For him as he too navigates this tricky thing called relationships. That he would guard his heart and mind, keeping them safe for me. Really, it’s a much more fun way to pray.

Recently, the church a few of my roommates go to was having a series called, “Wingman”, all about relationships; men/woman, friendships, singleness and leaving a legacy. Given my past history with the term, I was intrigued, so I went. Overall it was a great series and I’ve been able to take a lot away from it. One of my favorite things was the actual definition of a “wingman”. This new perspective sent me into a flurry of internet research on the term… let me just say, I’m excited. Here’s what I found:

A wingman (or wingmate, interestingly enough) is a term used in aviation, particularly the Air Force. It describes a plane that flies a little to the side and slightly behind another. This serves several purposes:

  1. A wingman offers a source of protection and support during a combat situation.
  2. A wingman has a clear view of the other pilot’s blindspots, and offers a broader perspective while flying during times of limited visibility.
  3. A wingman is a committed companion. They are expected to never leave their position beside their companion plane, even if it means missing out on an easy target.

I love this one definition I found (admittedly on wikipedia… don’t judge me.) It says,

“The wingman’s role is to add an element of mutual support to aerial combat. The presence of a wingman makes the flight both offensively and defensively more capable by increasing firepower and situational awareness, permitting the attack of enemies, and increasing the ability to employ more dynamic tactics.”

Isn’t that an amazing definition when thought of in the context of marriage! Mutual support, offensively and defensively more capable, increased firepower, situational awareness, ability to take out the enemy and employ more dynamic tactics. Basically, it’s the ability to be better at what you’re doing than if you were doing it alone. YES! That’s how I want my marriage to work! That’s how I want my husband and I to interact!

God has done, and is doing, some amazing things in this season of being single. I’m so thankful for the work that He’s given me to do and the ability He’s given me to do it. I am also really looking forward to flying alongside my wingman, giving us the ability to do bigger and better things than we could have accomplished on our own.

It’s gonna be good.

There’s more of course, but, “It’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

(Sorry for the corny Top Gun reference…Happy Monday!)