I’m an observer of people by both nature and training. I love to look past the outer facade and observe the more subtle intricacies that drive us. Over my years of observation, I have developed a few theories that I have found to be generally accurate. One of the most consistent is this: Engaged women are among the most confident people in the world.
Now, before we go too far, it deserves reiteration that this is a generalization. This confidence will look different and vary greatly depending on the personality and nature of the bride as well as that of the groom-to-be. I’m not describing exact behaviors, rather a general air of confidence that either shows up out of nowhere or becomes more pronounced. Please allow me to expound on this…
I know that we live in an age and culture where the battle cry of women is that we need no man. We are independent, self-sufficient and capable. The idea of needing to be protected and provided for seems antiquated and maybe even insulting. However, while this may be the prevailing voice around us, if we’re honest, the vast majority of us have a deep desire and longing to be chosen, to be cared for and to be loved in a way that casts out those pesky fears we try so desperately to hide.
The proposal and promise of marriage is a powerful thing. It implies a lot of amazing benefits. And while, sadly, we know not all of those benefits always pan out the way we hope, the state of engagement opens us up to the possibility, at very least.
Engagement makes some statements. It says…
-I choose you.
I see your value. I like you. Of all of the options, you stood out. I am yours, you are mine.
-You are no longer in this thing alone.
We’ll share the load. We’ll shoulder the responsibility together. We’ll figure it out. “Me” becomes “We” in everything.
-What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.
We share possessions. We pool finances. We merge skill sets. We walk together into the same future. We’ll even share the same name.
-I’m on your side.
In a fight, in a game, in life – two are better than one. I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. It almost doesn’t matter what it’s about, I’m on your side.
These are some powerful statements all by themselves, but when pulled together and paired with the fact that they speak to some of the deepest, base desires and longings of our hearts… that will make you walk with your head held a little higher.
The Bible is very clear that earthly marriage is a picture of Jesus’ relationship with us, the Church. The metaphor of marriage and engagement drenches that pages of scripture. I knew and appreciated this truth in the past, but recently I’ve seen it in a whole new light. (See note below.)
What does it mean to us that we’ve been chosen as the Bride of Christ? How does it feel to know in your core that you will never again be alone? Can we even grasp what it means that Jesus has taken on all of our debt, pain, and problems and replaced it with his name, his inheritance, his kingdom, his power, and his authority? What assurance do you feel when you realize that the hosts of heaven’s armies are at your beck and call? We’re not in a raging battle, the war has already been won!
We are the Bride in the most amazing love story ever written. We are engaged to the King of Kings. We are sealed with His Spirit of Promise. We are chosen. We are loved. We are empowered. Our future is secure.
That makes (or at least has the potential to make) us the most confident people on the planet.
(Side note: I may have failed to mention before but I’ve recently become engaged! Eek! I’m sure there will be more on this to come.)
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