A change of strategy.

A change of strategy.

I keep on waiting for life to get less overwhelming, though it doesn’t seem to happen. The first few years of life were so lovely. As the only child of 5, who was too young for school, I got all of my mom’s attention at least 6 hours a day. As “the baby” of the family, I was a high contender for everyone else’s attention the rest of the day. The highlights of my days were sewing, baking bread, going for walks and my sister occasionally crashing our dad’s car a few feet from our driveway. Life was good.

It’s gone downhill from there. Kindergarten was alright, we spent most of our time playing, but after that the novelty wore off. With every new grade, with ever move out of state, with every (normal) circumstance it became more evident that life wasn’t as simple as baking and sewing. Life is unpredictable and scary sometime. My mom hurt her back and my sister had cancer. Responsibility knocked and I had no choice but to answer.

College had its fun points, but over all, just more stress. Then came work…oooooooooh work. I used to think the answer was getting married so I could go back to baking bread and sewing (or like minded activities). But I know now through a little more experience that if I’ll looking to de-stress, marriage is the opposite to that answer.

So, as I look over this brief synopsis of my life, I realize that my approach has been misguided. Life will always be stressful. As one of my college professors used to say, “If your heart didn’t experience stress it would not beat. The absence of stress is the absence of life.” The key, I think, is to limit the bad stress you can control and learn to how to handle the bad stress you can’t control.

Not quite sure what that looks like, but I know I haven’t been doing it. So I’ve decided I need to develop a new strategy for life. Plans of action have been working really well for me the past few months as I have successfully instated both significant exercise and eating plans recently and I’m ready for the next step.

The first thing I’ve been working on is I am making a concerted effort to figure out the answers to some questions I’ve had for a long time. Some, “Why did I respond like THAT?” Questions. It hasn’t been fun, but it has been good. Today, while driving, I had a revelation that made me very sad, but really made sense of the past few months. Now that I have a grasp on some truth I can begin applying it, which makes me happy.

Anyway, I’m going to be requiring a really sunny warm day pretty soon because my posts on here have been some downers recently. Take heart, oh my soul, spring is on its way.